Just something beyond friendship
by tokiya
Summary: Mostly one-shots featuring female Kanda and Lavi. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-man. It belongs to Hoshino Katsura._

This is my first fanfic These drabbles are some parts of the relationship between Lavi and female Kanda from the start (and probably to the end, I hope).

English is not my first language, so I must apologize in advance for any spelling or grammatical mistakes. I gratefully accept all kinds of review, so please feel free to criticize.

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* * *

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An eleven-year-old Lavi was looking around the crowded cafeteria with his lunch in his hand. It was his first day at the Order. He tried to look for the pretty Asian girl he had seen just after his arrival, but in vain. Lavi sighed. Why is it so hard to find someone with the same age as his?

But then he spotted another boy with raven hair at the furthest corner.

"Hi. Can I join you?" he asked with a friendly voice.

The boy just glanced back with his steel-grey eyes without any answer.

"Well, I'll take it as permission then." Ignoring the boy's irritated look, Lavi placed his dish on the table and sat down.

"I'm Lavi. What's your name?"

"Kanda" The boy gave him a blunt reply.

"Just Kanda? Is that your first name?"

The boy put down his chopsticks, looking more annoyed every moment. "It's Kanda Yuu. Why do you care? Just shut up and eat."

Lavi smiled awkwardly. "Hey, I'm just trying to be nice since you're the only boy at my age around here."

"I'm …_WHAT_!?" The annoyed expression changed into something like shock along with few veins popping up.

"Ehm? ….Did I say something wrong?" Lavi took a more attentive look at his new friend, and was struck. Though with rough complexion and manner, the appearance was a little too _feminine _to be called a boy. He sweated. "Oh, sorry. It should be _girl, _not _boy_, right?"

After sending the rude newcomer a glare and counting from 1 to 10 in silence, Kanda picked up her chopsticks and continued to eat. "Male or female, it doesn't matter. We exorcists are warriors, and gender has nothing to do with that."

"Good point." Lavi grinned.

They had become friends since that day.

* * *

The sunset had turned the sky orange and the clouds golden. It was getting dark and cold.

Lavi walked as cautiously as he could, trying not to disturb the unconscious girl on his back. He took a glance at her pale face and gently smiled. Despite having sworn to his face that she would never help his sorry ass in any cases, Kanda DID save his life nearly at the expense of her own. When he tried to thank her, she just growled back, cursing him for causing so many troubles.

People always said that they were such a contrast in every way, like water and fire or the sun and the moon; they shouldn't have been able to be together, but Lavi totally disagreed with the idea. In fact, they were so similar, always hiding behind a certain expression when dealing with others. The only difference was that his mask was a faked smile while hers was an annoyed or irritated face. Even the Buddha said that people of the same kind are likely to get together, so their acquaintance should be the most natural thing to happen, right?

* * *

"I'm back!" Lavi greeted the empty hall cheerfully. He had just returned after six months of incessant missions. It was clearly written in his mind that a bookman must not get attached to anything for the sake of impartiality in recording events, but he really couldn't help feeling that the Order had become his home. Lavi enjoyed familiar sights as he walked down the hall, heading to the room of his favourite prank victim. He was about to knock on Kanda's door when an irritated voice interrupted him.

"What the hell are you doing in front of my room?"

Lavi turned around and saw Kanda standing a few steps behind him with her arms crossed, sending him her usual glare.

"Hi, Yuu-chan. I was looking for…" Lavi gasped, leaving the sentence unfinished. During half a year of his absence, Kanda had grown more than he had expected. She looked more…womanly.

Kanda noticed Lavi's weird expression and started to feel uncomfortable.

"Oi, red hed. What are you staring at?"

Lavi grinned mockingly "Congratulations! Yuu-chan"

"For what?" her eyebrows twitched with curiosity.

"Finally, you've got some assets like ordinary teenage girls! You know, there had been rumours around that…" It was the second time Lavi left his sentence unfinished, but this time unintentionally.

After a deadly scream, Lavi was carried to the infirmary in emergency and had to stay there for two weeks.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note : Thank you very much for those who reviewed. Though I've tried my best, I'm not very satisfied with this chapter. Please inform me if you find any spelling or grammatical mistakes, and feel free to criticize.

* * *

Kanda was sitting on an old bench somewhere beyond the reach of noisy crowd cerebrating Christmas day. The sky was decorated with a bright orb accompanied by countless stars. Snowflakes glittered in the moonlight dancing in unison with gentle breeze. She was savouring this precious tranquil moment as winter chills penetrated through her bloodstained exorcist robes. Not that she liked sitting in the snow in such a cold night, but it was far better than Christmas party at the Order with that rabbit haunting her around. Every year, Lavi always reminded her to get back from her mission in time for the party, and she always avoided it by returning on the following day. Certainly, this year was no exception.

"Yo! Yuu-chan."

Kanda almost fell from the bench.

"What are you doing here?" a familiar voice greeted her.

"And what are YOU doing HERE?" she whined back.

Without permission, Lavi sat down beside her and replied playfully, "Well, it's quite late now and you're not back yet, so I'm looking for you in case that you've got lost or something."

Kanda looked ready to slaughter her nosy friend into the tiniest pieces with her Mugen. Would this prankster ever allow her any chances of serenity? "I have never asked you to do that, and don't call me by that name." Then she stood up and swiftly walked away.

"Hey, Yuu-chan. Where are you going?"

"Anywhere without your stupid red hed."

Suddenly, Kanda somehow lost the strength in her legs, and would have collapsed if Lavi hadn't grabbed her just in time. She began to feel dizzy. Obviously, sitting in the snow after a tough mission was no good for her health.

"Yuu-chan, are you alright?" asked Lavi while he examined her face, then he noticed a faint red on her cheeks.

Kanda was surprised to hear a hint of concern in his voice. She froze when he leaned closer and touched his forehead with hers.

"You have a fever, don't you?" As soon as he finished his sentence, Lavi wrapped his arms around her and simply lifted her up.

"What the hell are you doing!? Put me down! I can get back by myself." Glaring his face, Kanda grumbled irritatedly. She was getting more embarrassed every moment.

"Don't be stubborn, Yuu-chan. In this condition, you can't even walk."

Knowing he wouldn't listen to her, she could do nothing but murmur. "I hate being carried like this. It makes me feel helpless."

Lavi smiled gently. Tenderness could be clearly seen in his emerald eye. "Don't worry, Yuu-chan. You're not at all helpless. Just have a rest, OK?"

"Che. Baka usagi." Kanda closed her eyes. She was quite surprised to find herself feeling rather secure.

A warm embrace in such a freezing night like this wasn't so bad after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Many thanks to those who reviewed. My drabbles including previous chapters aren't chronologic because my ideas pop up sporadically. Please tell me if you find any mistakes.

I hope you enjoy, and feel free to criticize. 

* * *

"…What shall I do?"

Lavi muttered while lazily rubbing his temple. He had been pondering about this for weeks and couldn't come up with any solutions yet. If she were just an ordinary girl, it would be much easier. But the problem was that nothing about her could be called ordinary.

Suddenly, an idea popped up in his mind. The red-haired boy grinned.

_This will work._

* * *

_Damn it. Where the hell is that rabbit?_

Striding past the hall, Kanda thought irritatedly. If it hadn't been Komui who asked her, she wouldn't have spent so much time searching for Lavi.

She had been walking and prying everywhere for half an hour, and still couldn't find even a trace of him.

There was only one place she hadn't gone yet.

As soon as Kanda entered the library, an enormous pile of books and papers came into her sight. She walked straight to that conspicuous stack, hoping that it would be him this time.

A red head pillowed on a few books didn't disappoint her.

"Oi, Lavi! Wake up." Kanda shook his shoulder, and received no other sign than a happy snore in return. Having used up her tolerance, she grabbed Mugen and poked his head hard with its hilt.

"Oouch!!" Lavi sat up straight, fully conscious now. "What just happened!?"

He looked around and saw his best friend standing behind with cold complexion.

"What did you do, Yuu-chan?"

"I was only trying to wake you up." She replied emotionlessly.

"But why did you have to use such method?" protested Lavi.

"Komui summoned you to the control room." Seeing that he had no intention to leave, she continued, "NOW".

Lavi could see an intimidating shade start to radiate from her figure. Apparently, Kanda was in no mood for frolics. He had better go immediately for dear life.

"Thanks, Yuu-chan. See ya." With a stupid smile, he scurried off the library, leaving a heap of strange books behind.

Now that Lavi was gone, Kanda glanced at the books curiously, then picked one up to examine.

_Astronomy? Why was that red head reading such things?_

…_It is his habit to be inquisitive about everything, anyway._

* * *

Kanda had just returned from a mission. She was heading to her own room while reflecting on her conversation with the head officer a few minutes ago. His words were still clearly echoing in her head.

_Kanda-kun, you must be more careful next time. I'm sorry to be straightforward, but you have not much time left._

Her eyebrows twitched thoughtfully.

…_How much longer can my body tolerate this condition? Will I be able to find _that person_ in time?_

"Yo! Yuu-chan." A joyful voice broke her train of thought.

Kanda turned around and saw Lavi. His weird expression made her eyebrows twitched harder.

_Oh no. This is a bad omen. Why does he look so merry? Has he come up with some plan again?_

"Thank God you came back in time. Hurry up, Yuu-chan, or you will miss it!" Lavi grasped her injured arm cautiously and started to drag her.

"Hey, Wait! I don't get it. I got back in time for WHAT? And WHERE are you taking me to?" asked Kanda hastily, feeling disquiet to be helplessly hauled by him.

"Don't worry, I'll explain when we get to the roof" Lavi replied without even looking at her.

"The roof!?" _What on earth could he be thinking of?_

Eventually, they arrived at the roof. It was a clear night with thousands of stars lively glowing in the dark sky. Kanda felt a cold wind gently blow against her cheeks.

Lavi released her arm. He gazed the stars for a while before turning to her, his green eye focused on her steel-grey ones. "Happy Birthday, Yuu-chan."

Kanda stared back. "Are you crazy? That was four days ago."

Lavi grinned. "Surely I remember when your birthday is, Yuu-chan. But it just happens to appear tonight." He turned his gaze back to the sky and pointed. "Look there."

Kanda curiously looked up to where he had pointed, then saw something luminous moving across the sky, leaving a frail bright line behind. Was it…a falling star?

"Make a wish, Yuu-chan."

"Huh?" Her eyebrows twitched again. _Has this rabbit really gone mad?_

"Well, it has been said that… if a wish is made upon a falling star, it will come true."

"My wish…." Kanda whispered musefully. In her entire life, she had only one wish, to find _that person _out of billions of people in this world. But her hopes had been gradually washed away, little by little, by streams of time and futile attempts. Now nearly no hopes were left in her heart.

_Will my wish ever be granted?_

Her eyes followed the falling star until it disappeared. Only for now, whether her wish will come true or not didn't matter that much. Kanda felt her heart filled with some kind of feeling she had never felt for a long time. It wasn't mere contentment she usually felt after her missions had been accomplished. …Could it be called _happiness_?

_So this is why he had been drowning himself in those books._

When Lavi turned to her again, he could do nothing but gasp. Even for the briefest moment, Kanda Yuu actually DID smile, her eyes glowing in a way he had never seen before, but it quickly changed into a smirk.

"Che, baka usagi. Why are you always thoughtful in useless things?"

Lavi smiled at her rough words. He knew that it wasn't in her nature to thank other people directly.

For him, among countless stars decorating the sky, that smile of hers was the brightest of all.

* * *


	4. Past & Promise Part1

Author's note: Many thanks to those who reviewed. I intended to write only one chapter, but it's getting far longer than I've expected, so I have to divide it into two. All kinds of review are gratefully accepted, and please tell me if you find any mistakes.

* * *

It was a fine summer day. The sky was crystal-clear with a few fluffy white clouds floating here and there. Summer breezes blew against Kanda's cheeks and through her silky raven hair as she stood on the deck of a ship heading towards her homeland, Japan. She remembered how drastically Lavi protested when Komui assigned this single mission to her.

"_What!?" exclaimed Lavi. "A single mission in Japan, of all places on earth? Why can't I go with her?"_

"_I've already told you, Lavi." Komui tried to answer as calmly as he could. "The possibility that an innocence might exist was confirmed from two places. At the moment, you and Kanda are the only exorcists at the Order. So you have to go on another mission."_

_Lavi didn't give up. "Then can I go to Japan instead of her?"_

_With a sharp look through his glasses, Komui replied, "I'm afraid the answer is NO. Since Japan is her homeland, Kanda suits this mission better."_

"_But…" Lavi hesitated._

"_No BUT, Lavi. You should depart immediately." _

Kanda smirked. She couldn't understand why Lavi should object. It was true that there were innumerable akumas roaming around in Japan, but Kanda was quite sure she wasn't so weak as to be easily knocked out by them.

Suddenly, loud sobs of a child somewhere behind drew her attention. Kanda was turning to see whose annoying sound it was when a woman hastily ran past her. The woman gently took the child in her arms while calming him with her pretty voice. "Did you just fell again, my dear? It's alright. Mommy's here."

As she observed, Kanda felt her heart stung. The scene reminded her of what she never had, an affectionate mother. The past she had almost forgotten was brought into her mind again….

_

* * *

_

…_Eight years ago…_

"Go away, you idiot!" A group of children yelled angrily as they threw stones of varied sizes at a small girl with ebony hair. Instead of running away or yelling back, the girl only stared at them with intense solemnity. Why should she listen to them?

Her sober glare made them flinch a little, their voice uneasy. "WH…What the hell are you staring at?"

"Nothing in particular." Despite her words, six-year-old Kanda gave them another sharp glare and walked away. Perhaps that would teach them not to bother her much.

Kanda Yuu was born in a distant village, somewhere among mountains in Japan. Judging from the mysterious innate mark on her chest, the elders had declared that she would bring about bad luck and disasters. Though Kanda thought it was totally nonsense, somewhere in her heart wasn't sure whether the declaration was true. The day just after her birthday, her father, who was a former samurai, died, leaving her fretted mother with so little money. Now her family was poor as a church mouse. Moreover, there had been incessant droughts since the year she was born. Certainly, all fingers were pointed at her; even her own mother blamed her for causing all these troubles. However, Kanda didn't care. How could it be her fault?

Ignoring repulsive eyes she received from the villagers all the way, Kanda finally reached her home. It was a small cottage, looking ready to break down at any moment. Her mother seemed to be out somewhere today, otherwise she would have shouted at Kanda, telling her to get out of her sight as usual. Kanda walked in, sat down on the dirty wooden floor, and sighed. Would her life continue in this way until the end?

Kanda was brooding over all that had happened when a sight of something interrupted her thoughts. It was a tiny old box covered with thick dust. Her eyebrows twitched questioningly. How come she had never noticed it before despite scanty room of the cottage?

_Does this thing belong to mother? Why haven't I seen it before?_

To her slight amazement, only looking at it caused an eerie feeling in her stomach. Knowing that her mother would undoubtedly flare up if she dared lay a finger on any of her belongings, Kanda tried to fight back the urge to open the box, but in vain. She couldn't help picking it up to examine. Though the box was badly stained, Kanda could tell that it was made from some fine material. As soon as she took off the lid, a strong light blurred her vision. It took sometime before the light diminished and her eyes could adjust to see things clearly again. Kanda was utterly surprised by the thing inside. It was a small luminous cube engraved with weird alphabets, giving a sense of archaic times.

_What on earth could this thing be? _She wondered.

The temptation to observe this strange object was too strong to be suppressed. Kanda hesitantly reached out her hand. At the moment her fingertips touched it, she felt her heart stop beating.

_...Lub-dup. Lub-dup… _

Kanda froze. _…What was that sound? _

The sound didn't stop; it continuously echoed in her head. With each pulse, the beat became harder, the unknown sound got louder. As her body temperature rose, her sight became blurry. Kanda began to feel dizzy, her body stiffened with fear.

_What the hell's happening?_

With that question in mind, she sunk into the empty darkness.

* * *

Whatever happened after Kanda had lost her consciousness, she had no idea of it. The only thing she knew was its result; she had witnessed it herself….

_Mild light penetrated through her eyelids, so did a terrible __malodour__ through her nose. Kanda slowly opened her eyes, her vision still bleary. As she tried to get up, every muscle in her body silently screamed with pain. As soon as her sight became clear, she froze in utter shock. Everything, including her hands and ragged clothes, was in crimson red, entirely covered with blood. If she hadn't lived here herself, she wouldn't be able to believe that once there had been a village before; it was completely devastated. Either cadavers or human parts could be seen everywhere. Kanda stood up and looked around, then froze again, her eyes widened. A sanguinary katana was laid by her side. She felt a pang in her heart, remembering the sword was her deceased father's. …Could it be her who had caused all this annihilation? …No, it couldn't have been her. How could she hurt even a fly unconsciously?_

Kanda remembered walking around the obliterated village hopelessly, seeking for anyone alive. It seemed no one had survived, not even her mother. However, Kanda never shed a tear. Why should she felt for any of them when the only thing they had ever given her was hatred?

"Er…Kanda-san?" A voice interrupted her somber flashback. Kanda turned around, then saw the finder who was assigned to accompany her. She irritatedly raised an eyebrow. Because of her annoyed look, he blenched a little, and hesitantly continued, "Please get ready. We are to disembark in about fifteen minutes."

It was just now after being deep in childhood recollection that Kanda noticed some parts of the shore appear at the horizon, causing a queer combination of feelings in her heart.

Finally, after an interval of eight years, she came back to her motherland.

* * *

Having bid adieu to the sky, the sun was replaced by a full silver moon along with thousands of brilliant stars. The leaves swayed with the rhythm of cool breezes, singing a dulcet song of nature. The night was so calm and quiet. Kanda wished she were on the rooftop of the Order, meditating or gazing stars as usual. It would be easy to deceive herself with such reverie if she wasn't lying helplessly on the cold soil, severely injured.Her blood was pouring out of her wounds like water rushing out of a spring.

_Damn it. _

Today seemed to be her uncommonly lucky day. The time Kanda got to the innocence was so exact as to coincide with the arrival of _two_ Noahs consisting of a lank man and a small short-haired girl. After an acute fight, Kanda found herself completely defeated. Never in her life had she felt so ashamed. Not only she failed to fulfill her duty, the innocence to be retrieved was destroyed before her face. The only thing Kanda could do now was waiting for death to call on.

"We missed again. This one is not the Heart." The man sighed, turning his sharp eyes to the nearly unconscious exorcist. "Well, let's try on yours."

"Wait a minute, Tyki" said the diminutive girl, her eyes glittering with amusement.

The man stopped. He was about to pick Mugen up. "Hmm?"

"Leave her to me. I've got an idea" Her voice was as sweet as honey, but her grin looked dangerous.

"Rhode, don't tell me you've come up with some _game _again." The tall Noah said with a bored expression.

"Come on, Tyki. I promise to do my homework properly. So please?" Clinging to his black slacks like a cute kitten, she asked expectantly.

Tyki hesitated for a while, then replied with a sigh, "Alright. But be a good girl, okay? And don't play too much." After patting her head affectionately, he took leave.

Now that Tyki was gone, Rhode strolled to Kanda and knelt down beside her. She gently brush away a few strands of her jet-black hair that fell on her pale face, and smiled. "Let's see what I shall do with you."

Rhode's childishly venomous smile was the last thing Kanda saw before she succumbed to darkness.

* * *

"What!? Lost in mission?" Lavi bursted out at his golem so loudly that the poor thing shrank from its position. He couldn't believe his ears. He had just finished his mission when the golem rang, bringing the most unexpected news about his best friend. "Have you done anything yet?"

"I've sent a troop of finders there." Kumui's voice answered from the other end of the line. "They found only Kanda's shattered golem and the finder that accompanied her, but he was already dead."

Lavi gritted his teeth. The head officer's voice was too calm for his liking in such a situation as this. "Do you have any idea where she has gone?"

"So far, they haven't found any clues of her yet. But it is possible that she's still in Japan."

Reaching for his innocence, Lavi replied, "Got it. See ya."

"Wait, Lavi! Where are you going!?"

"Japan." With that, Lavi hung up. He made a tight grip on his hammer before shouting at it. "_Ootzuchi, kotzuchi. Shin!" _The handle's length increased at a surprisingly high speed, taking its owner up high in the dark sky. He had to go to Japan in this way, for there was no time to waste.

Lavi didn't care what Komui would think about his action. Out of this world, now the only thing that mattered was Kanda's safety.

* * *


	5. Past & Promise Part2

Though Kanda had slowly opened her tired eyes, she wasn't sure if she had _actually _opened them. The endless darkness was still there, wrapping her like a cocoon. She glanced at her hip and was relieved to see Mugen still hanging there. Then an idea struck her. If it was _really_ dark, how on earth could she see herself so clearly? It was just now that Kanda noticed her own body glowing softly in the dark.

_What the hell is this place?_

Unanticipated giggles froze her spine. "Who is it!?" She demanded, her hand on Mugen's hilt.

"Well, who do you think I am?" The mysterious voice replied with a chuckle. Kanda recognized the timbre. It was of that small Noah named Rhode.

She tightened her grip. "You're Rhode, one of the Noah family."

"Correct!" Rhode answered, her pitch varying in a wide range as if she were singing. With the sound of a snap, everything brightened up. Kanda found herself in a dull room with floating candles, cracked lollipops, broken oversized dolls and many other things that indicated their young owner's twisted mind. Rhode was sitting on a stack of ragged vivid cushions, looking rather pleased. "Welcome to my own little world."

"Your world?"

"Yep. That's my ability."

Then Kanda recalled what Komui had told her long time ago, that each Noah had a unique ability. Judging from this grotesque room, Rhode's might be creating her own space separated from the world of reality.

"Let's play a little game," said the diminutive Noah while enjoying a brightly coloured lollipop that had just popped out of nowhere.

Kanda twitched her eyebrows, wondering whether her little enemy was insane. "A game?"

"Yup." Rhode tittered gaily. "All you have to do is to find the way out of my world. If you win, you'll be freed. If you lose, you'll become one of my dolls."

"Well, it might be easier if I just slaughter your damned ass and get out of here," said Kanda with a cold voice as she unsheathed Mugen. She was getting more irritated every moment by the way that small girl rambled as if everything was only a joke.

Rhode chortled at her threat. There was a keen look in her eyes. "Sorry to disappoint you, but without the knowledge of my _true _form, no one can kill me." All of a sudden, the Noah simply dematerialized into thin air. Just after that moment, the room twirled, and was replaced by a familiar scene. Kanda froze at her sight, totally astounded. It was her village.

Deadly screams and shouts startled her.

_No, it can't be… It just can't be that day._

Despite her denial, Kanda hurriedly ran to where the sounds originated. What she saw almost made her collapse. It was _herself_, six-year-old Kanda Yuu, standing there with blank expression, holding a bloodstained katana that once belonged to her father. Lying before _her _were carcasses of the villagers, including her own mother.

Kanda stood still as if she was rooted to the ground. "…This can't be true." She muttered under her breath, sorely bewildered. "It's just…part of the game."

"Too bad. It _is_ the truth." Rhode's voice came out of somewhere. It was sweet but venomous. "I know what you're thinking, exorcist. Yes, _you_ were unconsciousbut your eyes still saw it, your ears heard it, so your brain recorded it."

"No, it can't be… You're lying." Kanda whined back. _This must be some stupid hoax of that Noah._

"Believe as you choose. I just brought a part of your lost memory back to you." Her pretty voice was full of gaiety. "Now let's see what you'll do."

Kanda saw _herself _turn towards her, her father's katana still in _her _blood-soaked hand.

"Shit"She snapped, gripping Mugen tightly. Obviously, now wasn't the time for shock or contemplation.

_How the hell can I get out of here?_

* * *

Lavi landed at the spot where Kanda had disappeared before the handle shortened back to its normal length. Except the sound of swishing leaves, nothing was disturbing the tranquil silence. Then he heard someone's footsteps approaching. Lavi turned around quickly, and was extremely surprised to find who he had been worried about.

"Yuu-chan!" A bright smile flashed on his tired complexion, but was greeted with no response.

"Where have you been all this time?" Lavi ran to her, greatly relieved. Suddenly, a nearly inaudible swish passed through the air, then he felt a sharp pain in his arm. Lavi's green eye widened when he saw crimson blood rushing out of a long deep cut. Seeing unsheathed Mugen in Kanda's hand, he froze with shock. Without a change in her countenance, Kanda swung her sword again, but this time with such vigour that Lavi lurched backward for a good distance despite his defense. Lavi gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the pain that ran through his spine. Kanda was known to be a competent exorcist, but the strength and agility that belied her delicate frame were far greater than he had expected. Apparently, she wasn't joking. Kanda really intended to kill him.

"Yuu! What's wrong with you!?"

Instead of answering properly, with black expression and weighty silence, Kanda attacked him again. Then Lavi noticed numerous drops of blood spill on the ground where Kanda stood. Surely, it wasn't his. It was that moment Lavi realized his friend was injured far more seriously than him. Each attack would only worsen her wounds.

"Yuu, stop! You're hurting yourself!"

"Yuu? Not a very pretty name. I'll have to give her a new one." A sweet childish voice startled Lavi. "It's useless. She doesn't even hear your voice."

Lavi anxiously looked around, then he saw a small girl appear on Kanda's shoulder. Cross marks on her forehead told him that she was one of the Noah family. However, he wasn't in the mood to ask her name. His face strained as he narrowed his eyes. "What have you done to her?"

Rhode grinned maliciously. "Nothing serious. I just let her enjoy playing with _herself _in my dream."

"You…WHAT!?" Lavi turned his eyes back to his friend. Kanda was usually straight-faced, but now her visage was completely void of feelings as if she were only a lifeless doll. Then an idea struck him. Perhaps her mind had been captured somewhere else by this Noah's ability.

_Damn it. What should I do? _Lavi gritted his teeth, his brain functioning at a rapid fire pace to find any possible solution.

With a graceful twirl, Rhode flew off Kanda's shoulder and landed on the ground."Enjoy playing with your friend, exorcist."

As if listening to the diminutive Noah, Kanda started assailing Lavi again. Now her raids weren't like those he usually dodged with practiced ease. Only a distraction for barely a moment could bring him to death. As Kanda perpetually assaulted him, more of her blood spilled on the ground.

_This is no good. She's losing too much blood._

Looking rather bored, Rhode sat and watched, her elbows placed on her knees and her chin propped in her hands. "Don't waste your time thinking." Beneath her childish smile was nothing but wickedness. "Just kill or be killed, for she would die either way."

It wasn't impossible for Lavi to fight back, but he really didn't have the heart to hurt his friend. There was no more time for thinking, or he might loss her for good. Not knowing any better way, when Kanda was off her guard for hardly a second, Lavi forcefully dragged her into his arms and tightened his embrace. Kanda ceased her hand, her flat eyes widened.

"For Christ's sake, Yuu, wake up!"

* * *

Everything was sunlit so strongly as if it would burn at any moment. Odious smell of flesh and blood seemed to mingle so well with every particle of the air. Kanda roughly wiped away drops of sweat and blood on her forehead with the back of her hand. She had never thought that she would have trouble dealing with a six-year-old child as she had now. Despite juvenescence and so fragile a frame, _she _was almost as good as herself. Kanda narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She had barely known how to fight before meeting General Tiedoll, so how come _she _could manipulate a katana so proficiently at only the age of six?

_I must do something to get out of this stupid place. _Kanda thought irritatedly. While she was gradually weakened by lack of blood, the temperature, and many other things, her opponent seemed perfectly unaffected. If she kept going on in this way, she might eventually get killed by _herself. _That would make Lavi laugh at her to no end.

_...uu…_

Kanda froze. _What was that sound?_

…_Yuu!..._

_Hn. _She smirked bitterly. _How pitiable. Am I so distressed that I could mentally hear that rabbit's voice?_

…_Wake up, Yuu!..._

Kanda twitched her eyebrows. His voice was getting louder and clearer. …Perhaps it wasn't mere imagination. She closed her eyes, trying to figure out where his voice came from. Though quite struggling, she could still elude _her _attacks with both eyes closed.

…_For Christ's sake, Yuu, wake up!..._

Now she was sure that the voice came from somewhere _inside _herself. Why did that red head keep telling her to wake up? Could it be that she wasn't _really _here? Then an idea struck her. She had been thinking of finding the exit somewhere in this distorted world, but what if it was contrariwise? Was it possible that the exit was already there inside herself? Now Kanda paid all her attention to where Lavi's voice came from.

_Baka usagi. If this doesn't work, I'll haunt you for the rest of your life._

All of a sudden, the atmosphere changed completely. It was colder and the air was fresher. Kanda felt a pair of arms tightly wrap around her. She slowly opened her eyes, and was astonished when she recognized whose they were.

"…Lavi?" Kanda whispered rather incredulously.

Lavi loosened his arms, and scrutinized her pale face. Then an ear-to-ear smile brightened his fatigued complexion, his emerald eye glittering with joy and relief. "Thank God, Yuu-chan! You're back!"

Kanda looked around, and was surprised to find herself exactly where she had fought Tyki. "I'm…back?" She muttered, totally confused. Her brows twitched as she saw that Lavi was quite badly wounded.

Lavi seemed to notice her questioning gaze, for he smiled awkwardly. "Oh, these wounds? Don't worry, Yuu-chan. Nothing serious."

"Was it…me that hurt you?"

Lavi hesitated. "Um…practically, yes."

Kanda clutched her hand. If what she had seen in Rhode's imaginary world was true, she had massacred all the villagers without even knowing it, and now she had nearly done the same thing to her friend.

Lavi caught a hint of agony in her usually cold eyes. "Yuu-chan, are you alright?"

"Well done!" Rhode exclaimed while clapping her hands, slightly amazed and somewhat amused. "I didn't think you could manage to get out." Then she stood up swiftly. Suddenly, a heart-shaped door materialized out of thin air behind her. "I have a good fun today. Let's play again next time, exorcists." With a swish of her skirt, she turned around and touched the mysterious door lightly. Then both of them simply vanished without a trace.

Standing still, Kanda remained in melancholy silence. Lavi gently touched her shoulder. "Let's go back, Yuu-chan." He got only a nearly imperceptible nod for a reply.

* * *

"Ouch…" Lavi rubbed his ears while walking down the empty hall. He had just received a long boring preach from his grandpa. The red-haired boy was certain that he would die of earache soon if Bookman always lectured his apprentice for his bold actions. With a prying eye, Lavi wandered around the Headquarter, looking for his friend. Since Kanda had regained her consciousness, she had been strangely solemn. However, Lavi hadn't asked a word, knowing that she wouldn't answer. Perhaps her mood was better now. After searching everywhere in vain, he looked dog-tired. There was only one place left, the rooftop.

"Yo, Yuu-chan. I knew I would find you here."

Kanda was leaning back with her hands placed behind for support. She only looked at him with the corner of her eye, then turned her gaze back to the pale moon. Without permission, Lavi plunked himself beside her. Judging from her uncharacteristically gloomy countenance, he decided to keep quiet and wait until she said something herself.

Staring aimlessly into empty darkness of the night, Kanda was musing over all that had happened. Absolutely, there was no need for Rhode to tell her the truth, but somehow she found herself inclined to believe it. If what she had seen was true, then how could it happen? That mysterious little cube had turned out to be an innocence compatible with her. Now she was perfectly fine with Mugen, so why did she lost consciousness when she first touched it? Kanda remembered General Tiedoll finding her the day after the annihilation. Did the innocence bring about the devastation itself to draw attention from the Order? If that was the case, why did the innocence, through which God bestowed supposedly righteous power to mankind, choose such cruel method? Did the mark on her chest have anything to do with it? Maybe the elders had been right; Kanda had brought calamity of the acutest kind to her own village.

"Lavi." Her tone surprised him. She had never called him with such softened voice before. Kanda was still gazing at the moon, her ebony locks dancing gently in the wind. "What would you do, if…what you have always believed suddenly turned out to be only a falsehood, and your world turned upside down?"

Tracing her dreary silhouette, Lavi remained speechless. Whatever Kanda had gone through, it must have been ineffably hard. What should he say? What _could _he say? His heart stung as her words reminded him of an unpleasant fact. After all, he was the successor of Bookman. When the time came, he might have to turn his back to everything dear to him. Then what should he do with her?

Lavi was deep in contemplation for so long that Kanda was surprised by his unusual silence. Now her eyes were turned to him. "Oi, red hed. Did you fall asleep?"

The red-haired boy smiled clumsily. "No, I was just…pondering about something." Kanda looked curious, but said nothing. After silently debating with himself a little longer, Lavi finally made up his mind. "Yuu-chan."

"Hm?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever had happened, or will happen, just remember that…" Then he stopped again, making a pregnant pause.

Kanda was getting annoyed. "What are you trying to say, rabbit?"

With a determined expression, he continued, "...that you always have one constant in your life."

Kanda blinked, wondering whether Lavi had been hit at his head. Her brows twitched as she contemplated kicking her irritant friend off the roof if he dared annoy her with another ambiguous word. "What exactly is that constant you're talking about?"

Lavi smiled ear to ear. "_Me_, Yuu-chan."

Kanda could do nothing but gasp in confusion. It took her some time to understand what he meant. Though Lavi was smiling his usual smile, something in his emerald eye told her that his words were more than a promise. Some kind of mild feeling flooded and washed away the tumult in her heart as she felt something warm forming in her eyes. Kanda turned her face away to hide it.

Lavi's eye widened. It was the first time he ever saw Kanda crying. However, he didn't attempt to comfort her. Lavi knew her pride and obstinacy would never allow anyone to do so, so he just sat there and watched her quietly, waiting for her to stop.

"Che." Her voice wasn't icy as usual. "You're too nosy, baka usagi." Kanda bit her lip, as if doing so could stop tender tears from spilling down her cheeks. It was strange that mere his presence somehow comforting.

After so many ordeals, perhaps she had found a place of unconditional kindness, a place where she could always return to, …a home.

* * *


	6. Just A Little Accident

Thirteen-year-old Lenalee Lee was walking on a long way to the library carrying a huge pile of books that obstructed nearly all of her sight. Had there been one more book on the top of them, she would have bumped into someone that suddenly came out of the bathroom's door. Stretching her neck a bit, she was greeted with a familiar pair of steel-grey eyes. "Oh. Hi, Kanda." Her voice was cheerful as ever despite her struggling state. "How are you?"

Those flat eyes stared back curiously. "Fine."

Noticing Kanda's questioning gaze at the books in her slightly trembling arms, Lenalee said, "These books? I'm returning them to the library." Suddenly, she felt all the weight in her tremulous arms vanish and was quite surprised to see Kanda had taken them all to herself.

A grateful smile flashed on her pretty face. "Thanks."

"Hn." Kanda briefly glanced at her before starting to walk. Lenalee joined her.

Now that her burden was gone, Lenalee had a full sight of her friend. Kanda was wearing a plain white shirt and black slacks with a towel hung on her shoulder and Mugen at its usual position. Obviously, she had just taken a bath. Her jet-black hair was soaking wet and plastered to her back, and her complexion was glowing from the refreshment of a fine hot bath. Not knowing what to say, Lenalee quietly observed her companion. Fine pearly skin, long glossy ebony hair despite sole treatment of ordinary soap, delicate brows and eyelashes, et cetera; Kanda was blessed with all bloom and beauty more than enough to be generally admired. Such pulchritude wouldn't have been looked up to in so much awe had there been gentleness in her cold (and frequently rude) manner and friendliness in her frigid eyes. Lenalee sighed mentally. Besides her and Lavi, nearly no one could get along with Kanda. At first, she was also scared of her, but after some time, when she learned to overlook her rudeness and foul mouth, she found said exorcist quite pleasant. It wasn't her rough words or glares that spoke her mind; it was all clear in her deeds.

"Did you read all these books?" Kanda's voice broke her train of thoughts. Lenalee realized they had been walking more than half the way without saying anything. "Absolutely not! My eyes would have been blinded now if I had read such dreadful amount of books," she replied playfully, "My brother took them from the library few months ago and had been so busy that he completely forgot to return them. I was cleaning his office when I saw them piling uselessly in a dirty corner."

"Hn." Kanda smirked scornfully, and they were plunged into silence again. Lenalee tried another conversation. "Do you frequently come to the library?"

"Quite often."

Lenalee was surprised. "I never knew you like reading that much."

Kanda raised a brow, wondering why her answer should rouse such curiosity. "Not that I enjoy reading, but sometimes supposedly useless knowledge becomes useful during missions."

"I see." Lenalee smiled. Besides being a remarkably competent exorcist, this was probably the only respectable aspect of her personality in most people's eyes; it was generally known Kanda Yuu was extremely scrupulous in fulfilling her duties.

Eventually, they arrived at the library's door. Kanda turned to Lenalee. "You can go back to Komui's office. I will return these books myself. I have something to do here, anyway."

"But…" Lenalee hesitated, but, on seeing Kanda's brows begin to furrow irritatedly, finally agreed. "Well then, thanks for your help." Giving her older friend another grateful smile, Lenalee turned and ran back to her brother's office. There was still a lot of horrible mess that needed to be cleaned up.

Kanda sighed at the Chinese girl's retreating back before opening the door with her shoulder. Lenalee always cared about others too much for her own good.

* * *

_Hmm..?_

The sound of someone's opening the door dragged Lavi back from his sweet dream. The red-haired boy slowly opened his eyes to find his head pillowing on some pages of a large history book that Bookman had ordered him to read. He sat up, lazily stretched his arms and yawned too audibly for the librarian's liking. The old lady shot him a disapproving glance, and got a mocking smile in return. After an annoyed sigh, she turned back to receive an enormous pile of books from someone. Upon the books being removed, he could see the person clearly, and the sight of that took him by surprise. He had never thought that Kanda read that much.

With a mischievous grin on his face, Lavi closed the book. Certainly, a fuming Kanda Yuu was far more amusing than some ancient civilization.

* * *

After returning the books to the librarian, who received them with a rather confused look, Kanda strolled among ceiling-high bookcases, took the book she hadn't finished yet, and seated herself in the furthest corner of the library. She only had gone through one page when a familiar annoying voice interrupted her peaceful evening.

"Yo, Yuu-chan. What are you reading?"

That rabbit's voice came from a very close proximity. Her brow twitched, but she still kept her eyes on the page. "None of your business."

"We are friends, right? So theoretically your business is mine too."

She twitched again. A vein popped up on her temple. _Damn it. Is a quiet reading too much to ask for? _"I don't remember having a stupid friend like you. Now go away."

"Aw. Don't be so cruel, Yuu-chan."

Kanda's tolerance was over. Her sharp eyes were lifted from the book to shoot him an intimidating glare, but they widened in horror instead, seeing Lavi's green eye few inches away from hers and the disaster that was about to happen in a moment. She heard Lenalee screaming from somewhere.

"Lavi, watch out!"

* * *

_(A few minutes ago in the same corner of the library)_

"Reever-san, are these all that nii-san needs?" Lenalee asked, her small neck starting to ache. Since the Australian scientist was much taller than her, she had to look up to his face all the time of their conversation.

"I think so," Reever replied, looking exceedingly drowsy. Dark circles that ringed his tired eyes and unkempt brown hair indicated incessant hours of work and lack of sleep. After having his office tidied, Komui had asked the chief of science department to fetch him some more books. After protesting (and mentally cursing), he had complied with the request (or rather the order). Lenalee had offered him a hand, and now both of them were carrying loads of books.

"Hm?" Reever looked attentively at a table beside the window. "Aren't those Lavi and Kanda?"

Lenalee looked in the same direction, and saw Bookman's apprentice hunching over the table and obviously annoyed Kanda. She frowned slightly and proceeded to her friends. If she didn't stop the red-haired boy now, those two would probably started fighting in no time.

"Lenalee, where are you going?" Reever looked surprised.

"Surely I'm stopping those two." There was a hint of grimness in her voice. She hated it when her friends argued nonsensically.

Walking after the Chinese girl, Reever told her thoughtfully, "Maybe I'll ask Lavi if he could give us a hand." But before Lenalee could agree with the idea, he lost his balance due to the enormous weight he was carrying and stumbled towards the two exorcists. Most of the books flew from his arms to Lavi, who was lucky enough to be in the range. Lenalee watched in horror as she heard herself shriek. "Lavi, watch out!"

Unfortunately, the young prankster was too busy in irritating his favourite victim to have noticed in time, and the two ended up drowning under a small mountain of scientific books.

"Oh shit." Reever muttered while scratching his messy hair.

Lenalee hastily put the books down and ran towards the untidy stack. "Lavi! Kanda!" She was about to dig down the books when she heard Kanda's furious shout.

"Get the hell off me, idiot!"

Before she or Reever had time to do anything, they saw the red-haired boy dart out of the pile along with several books before landing on the ground with an ungraceful thump. "Ouch, Yuu-chan. That was cruel."

"Hm…" Analysing the fashion in which Lavi had flown out, Reever observed interestedly. "Maybe Kanda had kicked him out."

As if responding to the scientist's conjecture, more books flew around and scattered on the ground before Kanda stood up among the remainder. Her expression made the other three gape in utter surprise.

Instead of liberally giving death wishes or attempting a murder with her dear katana as usual, all Kanda did was _blushing_ a crimson red while glaring at Lavi ferociously. Without a word, she turned away and stormed out of the library at an incredible speed. As soon as she disappeared behind the door, Lenalee ran to the other exorcist. "Lavi! What happened!?"

Lavi was still sitting on the ground. He stared at the door for a while before turning to Lenalee, looking innocent and puzzled for all the world. …Maybe it was better to fib than to have Lenalee kick him into pieces with her powerful Dark Boots. After all, he hadn't meant to do _that_. "I don't know."

Lenalee frowned, not satisfied with his weird answer. She dauntingly placed her small hands on her hips. "What do you mean by 'I don't know'? I've never seen Kanda like that before! Something must have been very wrong."

"I really have no idea! I just…toppled over her and she kicked me off in a moment. That was all that happened."

Leenalee still looked at him disbelievingly, and would have threatened him further for a clearer explanation hadn't Reever interrupted their discourse. "Um…Lavi, maybe you should follow her and make a proper apology. No matter how rough Kanda acts, she's only a fifteen-year-old girl"

Never before had Lavi been so grateful for Reever's suggestion as he was now. "Thanks for your advice!" With that as his excuse, he scurried off the library leaving a discontented Lenalee behind.

_Only a fifteen-year-old girl, huh? _An awkward smirk spread on his face. _The problem is that she's a fifteen-year-old girl with dreadful skills and a lethal blade._

* * *

_Damn, damn it. That stupid__, idiotic rabbit._

Ignoring suspicious looks from other members of the Order all the way, Kanda fumingly strode to the comfort and privacy of her own room. What had just happened in the library had thrown her into total agitation divided between ire and embarrassment; and much to her indignation, she had to admit that the latter had the greater share in her turmoil, for every recollection of it only resulted in more blood rushing up to her normally cold face. With that rabbit's stupid face opposite to hers in such dangerously close proximity, there was no need to mention what had happened after he had tumbled unexpectedly towards her at once. Luckily, not many people had been in the library, and none of them had been near enough to have noticed the commotion. It was normal for Kanda to be angry due to the fact that if that simpleton hadn't bothered her in the first place, none of this would have happened. Besides, she despised all kind of unnecessary human contact. But her embarrassment flustered her. Why was she so embarrassed as to helplessly blush over and over?

Kanda sat on her bed and closed her eyes in exhaustion. She tried to regain her composure, but in vain; even the placid atmosphere in her room was no help at all. More than an hour had flown away with her futile attempts when somebody knocked on the door. Kanda rolled her eyes. _Now what? _She couldn't imagine what face she should put on right now if it were that red head.

"Er...Kanda-san?"

Kanda let out a small sigh. That certainly wasn't a voice she was familiar with. She opened the door and saw a finder standing there with one hand raised, preparing to knock again.

"What?" Exasperation was clear in her voice.

The finder cowered at her obviously irritated expression, fearing if his dear life were at risk. "I'm sorry to disturb you so late at night. The Supervisor wants you at the control room."

Without a word, Kanda brusquely slammed the door to the poor finder's face. She put on her exorcist robes, grabbed Mugen, and exited her room. It must be an urgent matter to make Komui call for her at this time.

* * *

Mild moonlight brightened up her silhouette as Kanda stared aimlessly out the window with an elbow placed on the sill and her chin propped in her hand. Vague shapes in the dark continuously came in and out of her sight as the train moved along the rail. Even an old compartment with odd smell and a nearly worn out light-bulb was a welcome place for rest after two weeks of a toilsome mission. Though the mission had been accomplished, it had been at the expense of many innocent lives. Not that Kanda cared about the dead or whomever they had left behind, but it was impossible for her not to feel anything at all. She let out a gloomy sigh and opened the window to receive some fresh air. Refreshing breezes blew against her pallid face and through her sleek raven locks. Gentle jolts of the train and the sound of the wind almost sang her to sleep when her placid rest was interrupted.

"It's not healthy to sleep like that, Yuu-chan."

Kanda's half-closed listless eyes flew wide open, fully alarmed. She swiftly turned around, and nearly choked. Unkempt red hair, a familiar emerald eye …and that stupid annoying grin; it was unmistakably her self-proclaimed best friend leaning against the door's frame. The unexpected appearance of him suddenly brought what had happened two weeks ago back into her mind, and she was once again thrown into agitation. Unwelcome heat rose to her pale face.

"You…when…how!?" She sputtered, mentally cursing traitorous blood that was rushing up to her face.

Lavi almost burst into laughter at the very rare sight of a gaping Kanda Yuu with a faint pink on her ivory cheeks. He had come here intending to apologize for that _accident_, but perhaps it was better to leave it like this. "Well, I phoned your finder and he told me which train you're on."

Kanda still looked as if she couldn't comprehend a word he said.

With a rather amused expression, the red-haired boy explained further, "Have you forgotten about my innocence? This was how I came here."

Her stunned look rapidly changed into an indignant (and somewhat murderous) glare. …Maybe she had underestimated his meddlesome character. Next time she would have to make sure that none of the finders would leak information to this nosy rabbit.

"Che." Kanda turned back to the window and stared out again, hoping that her flush wouldn't be perceptible from his point of view.

"By the way, how was your mission?" Lavi asked and sat down next to her.

Kanda closed her tired eyes. Horrible scenes, deadly screams…everything was still fresh in her memory as if it had just happened only a few moments ago. "Nothing interesting. Only several morons died."

Despite Kanda's cold answer, Lavi could discern a tinge of distress in her complexion. From his experience of their four-year acquaintance, he could construe her answer into 'It wasn't good at all. Too many lives were unnecessarily wasted.' "It wasn't your fault, Yuu-chan. In every war, sacrifices are inevitable."

Kanda darted him a fierce look. "Che. Who says I'm mourning over those useless corpses?"

"I know you're not." His irritatingly knowing smile contrasted his answer.

"Then shut up." She snapped.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Hn." The ill-humoured girl turned her face to the window again, but this time to hide her softened eyes. This was one of the things she hated about Lavi. He seemed to always know what she felt. However, her dislike of that aspect had been toned down to some extent. Sometimes it was quite a relief to have someone understand her feelings without having to say a word.

It was then she realized how much his coming here, though unwelcome, had lightened up her sullen mood. Perhaps…her _embarrassment_ wasn't that bad, after all.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Critics and reviews are gratefully appreciated.

P.S. I'm not sure if I made it clear enough that Kanda misunderstood her feelings to be _embarrassment _in the end.


	7. Curiosity

The sun gently glazed everything in pale orange and gold as it faded away in a graceful arc. Kanda saw the first star start to twinkle dimly in the distant East, but even a lively blazing one could by no means lighten up her grumpy mood at present. She glanced at the door irritatedly before resuming her gaze out the window with a frustrated sigh. That rabbit had gone out of the compartment for hours. The train was to arrive in less than a quarter and yet there was no sign of his return. If that dipstick didn't come back in time, she would have to carry his suitcase out of the train for him _again._

"Sorry it took me so long, Yuu-chan."

She shot Lavi an indignant glare. "Where have you been, idiot?" Noticing two paper cups in his hands, her eyes narrowed slightly with curiosity.

Ignoring her usual insult, Lavi smiled casually and plunked himself opposite his friend. "Just around." Then he handed her one of the cups.

As Kanda hesitantly took it, her spindly fingers felt cold droplets of water against her skin. Crystal-clear liquid inside stirred a little from her brusque movement. The ill-humoured girl stared at the cup as if it were a cockroach. "What's this?"

Lavi was surprised. "Huh? You don't know this? It's sake."

Now it was her turn to be surprised. Her inquisitive gaze shifted from the thing in her hand to her self-proclaimed friend. …_Who on earth drinks sake in this fashion? And how the hell did he manage to get sake at all on a train like this?_

"Well, it's freezing outside, so maybe it's a good idea to warm yourself up," explained the red-haired boy when he noticed her negatively weird expression.

Kanda still hold the cup and eyed it suspiciously. The sight caused a thought to arise in his head. "Yuu-chan, don't tell me you can't drink alcohol?"

She thrust her keen eyes upon him, mentally cussing his uncanny knack for guessing (and meddling in anything and everything). Not that she _couldn't _drink, but she had _never _drunk before. Well, a sixteen-year-old girl with no experience of alcohol wasn't really something to laugh at, but this was Lavi, who would laugh and make merry of her at all events possible, so Kanda just wordlessly gulped down all the liquor at once. Her brows knitted in disgust of its slightly sweet taste as she felt it burn down to her stomach.

"Hey, you might get sick if you drink that quickly."

"Che. I'm not that weak, rabbit." Kanda snapped, putting her empty cup down. With her arms crossed, she looked out the window and saw the train was about to arrive at the station. It gradually slowed down before stopping with annoying screech. She stood up, grabbed her suitcase, then proceeded to the door.

As if the Providence had responded to Lavi's caution, Kanda began to feel woozy, her face heating up. Losing her balance, she tumbled and would have hit the door hadn't Lavi caught her arm.

"Yuu-chan, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Let go of me." Her denial was contradicted by her unsteady voice and faint red tinting her cheeks.

Lavi blinked. _Huh? …Is she…drunk?_

"I said I'm fine, rabbit." Staring at his surprised face, Kanda grumbled. Her wavering voice and reddening cheeks made him sure of her inebriate state. The red-haired boy scratched his head. _Man…I didn't know she would get drunk this easily. _Seeing that she could by no means get back to the headquarters safely by herself, he simply hoisted her up on his back.

Kanda desperately wanted to protest, but now she was too sleepy to whine any complaint. Her eyelids listlessly fluttered as she tried to resist drowsiness that gradually flooded her senses, but to no avail. Eventually, somnolence overcame her effort and sank her into darkness.

* * *

Darkness began to spread across the sky, announcing that the day was about to end. As soon as Lavi stepped out of the busy station, he was greeted with biting chill. "Aah! We're out finally!" He cried out with great relief and happily breathed in fresh air after he had almost suffocated while thrusting his way through the crowd. "Hmm? Where's Alex?" He looked around searching for the young finder that accompanied them. A while after, said boy managed to exit the station with a dog-tired look. "Alex, hurry up!"

"I'm trying my best, Lavi-san," answered Alex torpidly. Lavi had asked him to carry the suitcases for them, and he had gladly complied with the request since he was in too much awe of Kanda to have her in so close proximity as on his own back. Certainly, struggling through a congested station with two heavy suitcases in one's hands and a large one on one's back was no picnic. To his surprise, the hyperactive exorcist didn't respond to his complain as usual. His green eye was earnestly fixed in other direction. "…Lavi-san, what's the matter?"

"Did you see her?"

"Huh?" Alex blinked, confused. "Who?"

"The woman that has just walked past us! How come you didn't notice her?"

The boy sighed. During two days of the mission, he had become accustomed with his habit of drooling over every 'striking' woman regardless of her age. He put the suitcases down and reached to the telephone on his back, then called the Supervisor to report their arrival.

Lavi was still rambling about that woman, praising her appearance dramatically. Suddenly, his prolonged admiration was cut off by a hard poke on his head. "Ouch!!" He looked back instantly, and saw his best friend sending him a sleepy glare. Perhaps his babble had woken her up. "Yuu-chan, why did you do that!?"

"Stop that brainless habit, baka usagi," whinged Kanda, her voice still wobbly.

"Why!?" exclaimed Lavi, looking pitiful for all the world. That probably equated to telling him to stop breathing.

"Because it pisses me off." She answered matter-of-factly.

He didn't give up. "But it has nothing to do with you, right?"

Instead of growling back, Kanda just silently turned her face away. Her extremely unusual response surprised him a great deal. He curiously observed his friend. _…Did I say something wrong? _"Yuu?"

It seemed her eyes had found the ground very attractive. "…Right. I'm not that interest_ing._"

Blink.

Lavi rooted to the spot, overflown with utter perplexity. In her tipsy voice, the Bookman's apprentice could catch the slightest trace of something even more than impossible for Kanda Yuu's disposition, childish bitterness. _…What did she mean by that? _His brain started to think of every possibility that would make this peculiar situation easier to comprehend. …Maybe his well-trained ears had misheard her words, or perhaps she had misused _'–ing' _for _'-ed'_ due to her current condition, or blah blah blah…. But she couldn't have meant _exactly _what she had just said, for that could only mean she was irritated by his slobbering over _other _women. He wanted to ask for her explanation, but her closed eyes and peaceful steady breaths told him that she had fell asleep again.

"Lavi-san, are you alright?" Alex's voice pulled Lavi out of his turbulent thoughts. He had been a little too engaged in his conversation with Komui to have heard their unusual dialogue.

He quickly recovered himself from confusion and forced a smile. "I'm perfectly fine. Let's go back."

Despite dubious look on his face, Alex wordlessly nodded and started walking. Soon all of his doubt was replaced by the thought of Jerry's meal and his warm bed at the headquarters.

* * *

It was quite late at night when the party arrived at the headquarters. Not many people were left in the hallway, and most of them were returning to their own room for a rest after a long day of hard work. After glancing at the unconscious girl on his back, Lavi turned to Alex. "Alex, you go meet Komui first. I have to get her to bed."

The finder's eyes shifted between the exorcists and the suitcases in his hand. "And what about these?"

"Can you drop them at his office? I'll catch you up later."

"…Okay," answered Alex before reluctantly proceeding to the office. The young finder wasn't very happy with carrying the heavy things in his hands longer than he had expected, but after some consideration, he speeded up in a better mood. After being lumped together for two days, it was a great relief to go beyond the vicinity of this weird duo.

Lavi headed to Kanda's room, his steps quiet but firm. He stopped at her door, contemplating whether he should wake her up or get her to bed himself. A glimpse at her fatigued face comfortably nestled on his shoulder helped him make his decision. He turned the doorknob, quietly traced his steps to the bed, and cautiously laid her delicate figure down.

Kanda stirred slightly. Her cherry lips parted a little, mumbling something inaudible (Lavi was quite certain that she was cursing some idiot in her dream) before she curled up and cuddled into the pillow. Glossy ebony tresses fell on her face, shimmering in pale moonlight that peered through the cracked window. Lavi just stood there, mesmerized. His hand reached out of its own accord to gently brush away a few strands on her pink cheeks. In her sleep, Kanda looked so thoroughly peaceful as if there were no problems at all in this world of cruelty. He could have stood there looking at her forever hadn't someone knocked the door and broken the spell.

The red-haired boy rapidly recovered himself and opened the door. Standing there, face contorted with concern, was Lenalee.

"Lavi, is Kanda alright? Alex told me that she looked rather sick."

"She's fine. She just needs some rest," replied Lavi as he quitted the room and noiselessly closed the door. "Lenalee, do you know when Kanda entered the Order?""

"Huh?" Lenalee was puzzled by his totally irrelevant question. "Why do you want to know that?"

He gave her an innocent smile. "No reason in particular. I just want to know."

"Hmm…" Her index finger touched her chin thoughtfully. "I don't know exactly when, but I was taken to the headquarters when I was five and Kanda was already here…."

He carefully took in her words. _…So that means Kanda must have been here since she was at least seven years old. Is it possible to make _such _simple mistake after at least nine years of using English? _

The Chinese girl stared at her friend doubtfully, wondering what he wanted that information for. She couldn't think of how it could be useful in his pranks.

Lavi noticed her questioning look. "It's nothing, really. I have to go to Komui's office now. See you tomorrow."

The look on her face indicated that she wasn't fully convinced, but she made no other questions on the subject. "OK. Good night, Lavi."

"Night." With an offhand wave, Lavi walked away, still musing over what Kanda had said. Though people do stupid things or make laughable mistakes when they're drunk, sometimes they also express what they _truly _think or feel. Whichever had been the case, he would find a way to figure it out for sure.

* * *

_Oh hell__. What a perfect morning. _

Looking at the long line in front of the kitchen waiting for breakfast, Kanda mentally cursed her luck. Today she woke up late with terrible headache, missed her daily morning train, and was surprisingly starving at the end of this blinking long line that moved no faster than an ill turtle. The worst thing was that she couldn't remember how she had got back here last night. This frustrated her so much because she was quite confident of her memory, though not as good as Lavi's. The last thing she could recall was she had started to feel dizzy on exiting that compartment. Her brows furrowed as she thought over all that had happened in there. _…It must have been that sake._

"Morning, Yuu-chan!"

Kanda turned around and saw Lavi strolling towards her, waving his hand cheerfully.

"Call me by that again and you'll have to get _another _eyepatch."

He ignored her normal threat. "You never have breakfast at this time. Did you get up late?"

"Keep your nose away from my business, rabbit."

Lavi paused for a moment, looking more thoughtful than usual. "By the way, do you know the difference between _interesting _and _interested_?"

Kanda stared blankly at him, unmitigated daze written all over her usually straight face. _…What kind of stupid question is that? _Then what it implied suddenly dawned on her. Her sharp eyes narrowed dangerously. "Oi, are you insulting my English?" Though it wasn't her mother tongue, she wasn't _that_ deficient.

Lavi sweat dropped, seeing murderous shade started to radiate from her figure. Perhaps he had already crossed the line with that question. His hands were put up in defense as he slowly inched away from the petulant exorcist, so did the people around the two. "No! I was just…"

Kanda didn't wait for the end of his sentence. She had had enough for this morning already, and not the tiniest bit of her tolerance was spared for his idiocy. Within fractions of a second, Mugen was drawn out in a gracious arc, its tip only few millimeters from his left eye. "Get your damned ass out of my sight or I'll slice you into halves."

It didn't take Lavi much time to choose. "As you wish, Kanda-san." With a stupid grin, he scuttled off the cafeteria for the safety of his precious life. Certainly, skipping a meal was far better than being sliced into pieces.

The raven-haired girl watched him dashing away in somewhat sadistic satisfaction. That would keep that red head away from her for a good time. Though he had already gone, his weirdly nonsensical question still lingered in her thoughts. _…Why did he ask such strange thing? Does it have anything to do with what was missing from my memory? _

After some time of useless deliberation, Kanda decided to put it out of her mind, completely unaware of her doing something she should never have done. Once Lavi's curiosity was roused, he wouldn't stop until his doubt was answered.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Critics and reviews are highly appreciated. :3


	8. Reminiscence & Realization

Author's Note: Many thanks to those who reviewed. This chapter is a Kanda's POV two years after the war.

* * *

Another spring came. Brought along with it were new leaves and blooming flowers reviving Japan from the melancholy of winter. Vivid sense of life could be felt everywhere, and this year it seemed to be livelier than any springs in Kanda's memory, as if nature itself were still celebrating their victory against the Earl and his accomplices.

It was almost two years now since Kanda had left the Order, but thanks to that beansprout's and Lenalee's never-ending letters, she still knew how all her comrades were doing. Her correspondents were engaged (with tearful consent from Komui, of course), Miranda had become an English teacher and hadn't got fired yet, Krory had become a florist, and so many others that she didn't bother to remember (but she did keep the letters, anyway).

She knew they all were doing just fine; all of them…except _one_ person, and - strange as it was - that person was Lavi.

A fortnight after the war of the century, Bookman and his apprentice had disappeared without a trace. The chronicler's sudden disappearance had surprised everybody, but not as much as Lavi's. He hadn't told any of his friends or at least given them a clue, not even to _her. _

Not a word of farewell after eight years of proclaiming himself to be her best friend.

While the others were still in shock from the unexpected loss, Kanda had moved to Japan and, after cleaning up all the remaining Akumas, settled almost comfortably here. As a weapon instructor, making a living wasn't so boring as long as there were unruly students to threaten. She had never missed him a bit, or at least her life had been busy enough to keep herself from such unproductive thought.

Why should she spare any thought for an idiot who didn't have enough guts to give her even a proper goodbye?

Unfortunately, now that everything had been settled and her pace of life had slowed down, there weren't many things left to think of. Besides training and teaching, nothing could effectively distract her thoughts anymore. Lately she caught them drifting to that stupid rabbit more and more often, and her dislike list was getting longer than ever. Even the most normal things in everyday life could provoke annoying remembrance of him.

And in this evening, everything seemed to get worse.

Kanda was sitting on the windowsill with her back against the frame as she watched the sun move in a gracious arc, gradually fading away into the distant horizon. The red orb painting the sky with streaks of pale orange and gold was just as obnoxious as his usually messy hair. Leaves rustling in rhythm with gentle winds were just as green as his emerald eye. Birds glided through the shadows of fluffy golden clouds, heading to wherever their home was while singing sweet songs, reminding her how damned voluble that buffoon had been. When darkness had spread all over, a full circle of white appeared to illuminate the grounds, graced by millions of stars dancing lively in their own silver light. Such a beautiful night like this did nothing to calm down her mood; instead, it took her mind back to the ones he had come to the rooftop and ruined her peaceful stargazing.

As if things weren't already bad enough, a falling star descended graciously across her sight, leaving a frail bright line in its path.

…"_Well, it has been said that… if a wish is made upon a falling star, it will come true."_

That was what he had told her many years ago.

Kanda smirked scornfully at his puerile words. It was quite a riddle how that red head could fancy such quixotic thing to be true despite his surprisingly expansive archive of knowledge. Certainly, she never believed in such frivolous saying, but if a wish were to be made now, it would be to somehow meet him again and reward his idiocy with a good punch right into his stupid face. How _dared _that simpleton break the only promise he had ever made?

…"…_you always have one constant in your life."_

Her flat eyes faltered as his soft voice rang from some distant place in her memory.

Kanda highly valued principles, and thus hated people who didn't keep their word. But on second thought, maybe Lavi's fault wasn't not keeping his promise, but was promising while _knowing_ that he couldn't keep it. After all, _he_ was the successor of Bookman, and Lavi was just one of _his_ personas, an alias which would be discarded once nothing more was to be recorded at the Order. The day _he_ left was the day Lavi died. Kanda sneered at herself, a trace of affliction glittering in her eyes. She had been calling him stupid, but perhaps she had been stupid herself to let eight years convince her that _he_ really was Lavi and would keep whatever promise Lavi had made.

_Damn it. _That rabbit truly had an extraordinary gift of annoying other human-beings. Even now that 'Lavi' didn't exist in this world anymore, he still could haunt her to no end. During eight years of his troublesome presence, everything about him had somehow made its way through her ice wall and carved itself permanently in her memory.

Kanda sighed, unable to deceive her heart any longer. Against all her reasoning, she simply couldn't help missing Lavi.

Cool breezes temporarily snapped her out of melancholy thoughts. Kanda brought her knees to her chest and put her arms around them. Her dark blue yukata wasn't of much service in a cool night like this. Just when her mind was about to drift away into the endless darkness again, a voice came from the other side of the door and saved her from bootless reminiscence.

"Yuu-chan."

She tensed at the name, but relaxed when she recognized the voice. It was her landlady's. No matter how she had protested, the old lady had firmly insisted on calling her young tenant in that overly intimate way. After some time, Kanda could do nothing more but give up and wonder why on earth the landlady kept on treating her like her own daughter.

"Yuu-chan, are you in there?"

Kanda got down from the windowsill and opened the door. "What?"

Having got used to her manners, the old woman smiled. "Someone has come to see you."

She raised a brow quizzically. "At this time?"

"He's awaiting downstairs."

Kanda slipped into her black slippers, exited her room, and traced her steps down the stairs irritatedly while adjusting her clothes, determined to kick that visitor's ass out the house ruthlessly if it were only trivial business. When her steel-grey eyes were lifted from her yukata, they froze.

Maybe she had to reconsider the saying about falling stars.

Standing there with unkempt red hair, a green eye, and a familiar silly orange scarf, was the very idiot she had been thinking of against her will. Lavi was leaning against the doorframe (maybe that was his classic posture) with his usual smile on his face. Two years had changed neither his appearance nor expression.

A thousand things ran through her mind like thunderbolts, leaving her capable of nothing more than staring at him with her eyes literally wide enough to put an egg into each of them.

"Yo! Yuu-chan. How do you do?" His voice was cheerful just the same.

She still rooted to the spot, unable to find her voice.

Surprised by her blank response, the red-haired ex-Exorcist walked closer and patted her shoulder casually. "It's me! Lavi, your old pal! Remember?"

That was enough to recover Kanda from total stupor. He acted as if it were only yesterday she had seen him for the last time, and not a day of these two years had ever happened. One distinct feeling consumed all others that were piling up in her heart. She brusquely slapped his hand off her shoulder and glared thousands of daggers at his face.

Who the hell did this dumb-ass think he was disappearing without a word for two years then popping out of nowhere and thinking everything would be the same?

Lavi was taken back a great deal by her sudden change. Playful expression vanished from his face. "Yuu?"

"Where were _you_ for two years?" Her voice was cold, especially when stressing the last two words.

"Yuu, I…"

Kanda clenched her hands. She felt something burning her eyes threatening to come out. Her lips started to tremble, so did her shoulders. Suddenly, she couldn't stand looking at him any longer. She turned her face away, hiding it behind her bangs.

Lavi's astounded expression gradually changed into a soft one. "Yuu-chan…" He watched her in silence for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her tremulous shoulders and gently pulled her into his embrace.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Kanda didn't protest. Instead, she rested her forehead on his shoulder and let his warmth quiet down her agitation._ Here _right in front of her was really Lavi, not the successor of Bookman she didn't even know. For now, that was enough.

After what felt like eternity, her pride nudged her into composure again. Though all bitter anger was gone, she wouldn't let him get away with his delinquency so easily. Without warning, her white-knuckled fist was sent right into his stomach so vehemently that the poor organ would probably malfunction for at least a few weeks.

That punch was good enough to send Lavi down onto his knees, one hand holding his abused abdomen. "Ouch…Yuu-chan. You're aggressive as ever."

"Hn." Looking down at him with her arms akimbo, Kanda smirked in contentment. "You deserved that, baka usagi." She half turned back to the stairs and glanced back from a corner of her eyes, a slight smile curving her lips. "Want some tea?"

Lavi grinned, waggish look back on his face. "That would be nice."

* * *

Thank you for reading. Critics and reviews are adorable.


	9. It's over, isn't it?

**Author's note** : I'm very sorry for a very long discontinuance. This chapter is very short (and has nothing to do with the previous one), but I hope you will enjoy it.

* * *

He felt a tiny drop of something warm against his face.

There came another. And then another.

He buried his face deeper into his pillow, preparing to fall into another blissful sleep, only to find that the pillow was suspiciously warm and wet. Pungent smell of blood attacked his olfactory sense.

Then realization dawned on him.

It was another human body.

His body felt numb. The only thing he could feel was unknown drops sliding down his cheek. It took a long moment to crack his eyelids open, and an even longer one to adjust his sight.

Before his eye was a silver cross heavily stained with blood.

He slowly turned his face, his jade eye trailing from the cross up to a bleeding neck and then a familiar face.

"…Yuu-chan."

Her beautiful feature looked ethereal under the obsidian sky littered by countless stars. Her ebony tresses seemed to illuminate under a full circle of silver, so did the glittering trails on her ivory cheeks.

She was crying.

Crystal clear droplets quietly glided down her cheeks before dropping onto his face. Her normally frigid eyes overflown with tears and feelings conveyed all she felt.

"Lavi…", she said softly before bringing him closer with such gentleness that contrasted every bit of her character. He felt her arms around him tighten. "You meddlesome oaf. I could handle that myself, stupid."

He smiled wearily against her warm shoulder. It was so Kanda to greet a badly injured friend with such statement, but something in her tone made him feel grateful for just being alive.

"I know", he mumbled.

Neither of them spoke for a long time. Finally, he broke the deafening yet comfortable silence. "It's over, isn't it?"

She nodded. "We won."

His heart swelled and sunk at the same time. This war was over. None of his friends would have to risk their lives again, but that also meant his duty here would be over soon.

He buried his face into her shoulder and returned her embrace, a sad smile curving his lips. He would worry about that fact later.

For now, this was enough.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Reviews and suggestions are highly appreciated.


	10. Decision

**Author's note: **This chapter is a companion piece to chapter 8. It takes place before Lavi leaves the Order.

Merry christmas and happy new year. :-)

* * *

"_We'll leave tonight."_

_Lavi froze, __his heart dropping like a rock into his stomach__. He felt a lump in his throat. What could he say? Bookman had already generously given him two full weeks to recover from his injured state _and_ his current persona. He had known all along that this time would come, but to really face it was entirely another thing._

_His teacher was eyeing him with perfect composure, patiently waiting for his response._

_He nodded silently, his emerald eye focusing on anywhere but the elderly man before him. To have those unreadable eyes see through his thoughts was the last thing he wanted now._

_The old man was still staring at him impassively._

_His hands were clenched into tight fists. With shreds of self-control left in his perturbed mind,_ _he shunned __troublesome thoughts and feelings away, at least from his face_. _Slowly, he fixed his eye on the man before him._

_Looking straight into those eyes with equally sedate expression, he nodded firmly._

_After a prolonged deafening silence, Bookman finally turned and walked out of their room…._

WHACK!!

"OUCH!!" Lavi yelped, jumping from the bench onto his feet. He looked around the cafeteria quickly, one hand placed on his head for protection. Lenalee was staring at him with a tray held threateningly in her hand. Although the war had been over for two weeks, she was still wearing her exorcist uniform. Her dark green hair had grown back to its original length. "Lenalee, what's that for!?"

The Chinese girl looked annoyed. "Well, I've been calling your name for the past five minutes and it seemed you didn't here me, so I needed a little assistance from my tray." Then a mischievous smile spread on her pretty face. "Sound logical?"

"Yeah…" He replied nonchalantly while rubbing his abused forehead. Then he sat down to finish his forgotten meal. "Would you like to join me?"

"No, thanks. I've finished my breakfast already." She gestured at the empty tray in her hand. "Allen and I are going in town this afternoon. Would you like to join us?"

"Oh, uh…What about Yuu-chan?"

Lenalee beamed. "You won't believe me. Kanda's going too!"

'…_because you made her to', _Lavi commented darkly to himself. He wanted some time alone to organize his troubled mind, but on second thought, this was the last opportunity to be with his friends. He might as well find a chance to bid them goodbye.

He forced his usual smile back. "I won't miss it. Thanks for asking, Lenalee."

She beamed again. Her happy smile eased his turbulent thoughts a little. "You're welcome. See you later." Then she waved casually and walked away.

* * *

The sun was fading away into the distant horizon, its streaks of soft orange and gold reflected by endless expanse of water. The sky was fleeced by splendid arrays of clouds. Cold breezes blew past two lone figures walking side by side on a small wooden bridge, playing with blazing red and raven locks.

Allen and Lenalee had managed to walk far ahead of them, being lost in their own little world. The two left behind strolled in companionable silence. While watching the red orb melting into the line merging the sky and the sea, Kanda casted a covert glance on her companion every now and then. Since this morning, Lavi had been _acting_ normal; his smiles and laughter seemed so …feigned_._ Others might have not noticed, but his perfectly fake smiles couldn't trick her keen eyes. Something serious was troubling her self-proclaimed best friend.

Suddenly, his steps came to a halt.

Lavi was staring aimlessly at the colourful panoply of clouds. His expression was calm and unreadable, his emerald eye clouded with unfathomable thoughts. This was the side of the Bookman successor she had rarely seen, and it made her feel _uneasy_. Being a confidante was by no means her forte, but if it could stop his increasingly _irritating _behaviour, then she would do it_._ The petulant exorcist resisted the urge to smack his head hard and demand that he spit his trouble out. Instead, she placed a tentative hand on his shoulder.

* * *

A small smile found its way to his lips as he watched the unofficial couple walking far away. The two teenagers seemed completely peaceful and content in each other's presence, totally oblivious to their surroundings. He had always thought Allen and Lenalee would somehow end up together since their temper and disposition had a great deal in common. With her kind and caring heart, Lenalee would be a paragon of affectionate wife and mother. Working as a nurse or a teacher would suit her perfectly. As for Allen, well… he just wondered how many jobs the good-hearted boy would have to take to fill his monstrous stomach.

Lavi brought his gaze from the two disappearing from his sight to the natural display of fireworks basking the scene in breathtaking hue. The sun was setting, announcing the end of the day, yet he still couldn't bring himself to tell his friends about his departure. It might sound stupid, but he had the feeling that with one word of farewell, they would be lost to him forever.

Now he knew the other reason behind the solid rule of impartiality. Other than to record events with unbiased attitude, the rule also served to prevent unnecessary emotional conflict. Forming no strong bonds was probably the easiest way to help one associate with others when travelling endlessly from place to place. He had violated this rule badly, ignoring warnings from Bookman _and _his conscience, and now he must face the consequence. Strangely, he didn't regret it in the least.

A light touch on his shoulder interrupted his train of thoughts.

Tearing his gaze from the darkening sky, he saw Kanda standing beside him, one hand placed on his shoulder. It was just now that he realized he had stopped walking.

"Lavi, you okay?"

The last light of dusk was playing with her feature, adding a tint of gold to her steel-gray orbs. Though her countenance betrayed nothing, he could discern a hint of concern in her eyes.

"I'm fine." Lavi gave his best friend an assuring smile, but it obviously didn't reach his eye, for she was still staring at him, her brows drawing together in disbelief.

He sighed inwardly. Why did she have to know him so well?

* * *

Lavi started slightly at her touch and then turned his face to her. Kanda tried to keep her usual straight face; she didn't want this rabbit to _fancy_ her worrying about him.

"Lavi, you okay?"

There was a pause in his reaction. He was probably deciding the best reply.

"I'm fine." Then he smiled assuringly. She frowned at his obviously feigned smile. Her composure was again disrupted by the urge to smack his head, but it vanished completely in the next moment when he took her hand into his and looked into her eyes.

Kanda was about to snap the idiot back into his sense, but something in his eye stopped her sharp tongue. There was a tender sorrow in that emerald depth, the kind she had never seen before; and to her surprise, that meaningful sadness touched her heart.

"Yuu-chan…" His voice trailed off. Though there was a distant sound of waves softly washing against the shore, the silence between them was so intense she could hear her own pulse. After a small eternity, he spoke again.

"Thank you."

'…_Huh?' _"For what?" She inwardly kicked herself for blurting out so bluntly.

His eye softened, its rueful look replaced by something she had no idea what it was. Kanda had seen a trace of that feeling before, but never had it been so obvious as it was now.

"Everything."

Then he leaned closer and gently kissed her forehead. Kanda froze in utter astonishment. She'd expected sheepish smiles, lame excuses, obstinate silence – hell, anything but _this._ It was just a simple gesture, but for the second time in her life, it took a surprisingly strong amount of will and dignity just not to blush too many shades of red.

Had they been in different situation, Lavi would have laughed his teeth out at her priceless expression, but his feeling at this moment couldn't be any more remote to laughing. Looking at the young woman before him, he took in every line of her lovely feature and reserved it in his photographic memory. Only God knew how long it would be before he could see her again. He didn't even know if he would have a chance at all.

Something soft and cold on her face recovered Kanda from absolute embarrassment. Raising her free hand to brush it off her cheek, the thing melted against the warmth of her skin. Her eyes widened in surprise as she looked up to the sky. It was snowing.

Lavi was looking up too. For barely a moment, she thought he looked so lost and lonely, but then his expression changed and he was his old self again. With his eye back on her, he smiled his first genuine smile of the day. Tugging her hand, he said softly, "We'd better hurry, Yuu-chan, before both of us catch a cold."

She gave him a brief nod, still at a lost for words or insults.

They resumed walking, their hands still intertwined. He didn't bother to remove his hand, and strangely, she didn't mind the contact that much.

Snowflakes were dancing in gentle winds, glittering under pale lamplight. As they sauntered along dark empty streets, silence fell between them again, but this time, there was some kind of mute understanding in it.

Glancing at her red-haired friend, Kanda decided to keep silent. Whatever had been bothering him all day seemed to have gone. Maybe she would try to figure it out later. For some reason, she didn't want to ruin this tranquil moment.

Lavi kept walking in content silence, his steps quiet and firm. His perturbed mind finally found its peace again. The soothing warmth from her hand steeled his new determination.

'_Bookman must have no heart__.' _

His grandpa had spent a considerable amount of time and effort trying to drill that statement into his brain.

He would prove him wrong.

* * *


	11. Mutual Understanding

**Author's Note: **Sorry for another long wait. This chapter is again very short and is very likely the last one since I will be studying abroad where there's no personal computer and the access to the internet is quite poor.

This happens after chapter eight. I hope you enjoy. :)

* * *

The sky reflected by the lake they were lounging by was crystal clear, blotted here and there with sakura petals. Kanda was idly polishing Mugen while Lavi was reading a book, passing their afternoon as usual. _If only_ everything was normal…

"Lavi," she said, still polishing her beloved katana.

"Hm?"

"You've been reading that page for an hour now."

He smiled. "Yeah…"

A short silence ensued. One was deep in thought while the other was waiting.

"Yuu-chan."

"What?"

He glanced over his book. "I love you."

Her hand stopped, but she was still staring at her sword, her steel-grey eyes clouded with thoughts. Just as he began to think that she would say nothing at all, she said softly, "You're one lucky idiot, you know…" She still refused to meet his gaze. "…because your feelings… they're not unrequited."

A genuine smile curved his lips. "Thanks." _I know. I just needed to hear it from you._

Another silence followed. Kanda watched cherry blossom petals floating quietly, her expression calm and unreadable. "I won't live long, you know." There was a tinge of bitterness in her voice.

His emerald eye saddened. "I know. I've wasted two years already. I'm not going to waste any more time."

She looked at him, surprised. "You don't mind?"

"No, not at all." Smiling, he looked into her eyes. "As long as you love me back."

She blushed. "Baka! I never say that."

He just shrugged. After a moment, he put his book down and sat up. "There's something I have to fix."

Still embarrassed, she threw him a glare. "What? Your sorry excuse of a brain?"

He leaned closer. "No."

"Then…" She stopped as he gently touched her cheek. His eye was dancing with mirth… definitely not a good omen.

"What happened back then in the library… it was incomplete."

"Huh?" She stared at him curiously. Then her eyes widened in horror. _Kami. Does he mean…_

Before she could finish her thought, he closed the gap between them and kissed her.

_Owari_

_

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_

A very soapy ending, I know. (-_-")

Thank you very much for all your kind reviews and support. I apologized for any spelling or grammatical mistakes.

_tokiya _


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